Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Southbound Train

Love letters lie in the rain
photographs drift in the breeze
ink eddies dark down the drain.
Love letters lie. In the rain,
a slow-moving sad southbound train
is leaving the platform where these
love letters lie. In the rain,
photographs drift in the breeze.


Dale said...

Beautifully done.

Karen E. said...

So sad and so lovely.

julia said...

I love the fourth line, when the repeat of line one changes everything. Awesome.

lissa said...

sad and beautiful

Alina Sharon said...

I loved your structure. It is very rare to find someone who truly employs the poetic tools at his disposal.

artpredator said...

i love ink eddies drift down the drain

artpredator said...

ink eddies dark down the drain
which is even better