Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Southbound Train

Love letters lie in the rain
photographs drift in the breeze
ink eddies dark down the drain.
Love letters lie. In the rain,
a slow-moving sad southbound train
is leaving the platform where these
love letters lie. In the rain,
photographs drift in the breeze.

7 comments:

Dale said...

Beautifully done.

Karen Edmisten said...

So sad and so lovely.

Julia Phillips Smith said...

I love the fourth line, when the repeat of line one changes everything. Awesome.

lissa said...

sad and beautiful

Anonymous said...

I loved your structure. It is very rare to find someone who truly employs the poetic tools at his disposal.

Anonymous said...

i love ink eddies drift down the drain

Anonymous said...

oops
ink eddies dark down the drain
which is even better