Friday, March 07, 2008

Eden Lost

Fertile green sticks rise naturally from virgin stones
but we drink oil from springs and boggle
at the racket of turning cranks. We snuggled
with a snake long ago, fatal dalliance.
Experiment: can dreams change destiny?


NB: This is actually my attempt to see how many prompts I could combine into one...
Poefusion: racket, snug, green, boggle, snake
Sunday Scribblings: experiment
readwritepoem: dream
Writer's Island: rising, destiny
Manic Monday: can
Weekend Wordsmith: sticks and stones
Cafe Writing: spring, change, virgin, dalliance, fertile, nature, oil, crank

Collection available! Knocking from Inside

15 comments:

Christine said...

I feel like I got so much from this short poem. It's a good question you ask at the end. I think they can, and have! But your poem presents an enigma as well.

Michelle Johnson said...

Can Eden truly be lost if our dreams create a new destiny? I think through this new destiny we create another Eden and another dream. Your short poem leaves us to ponder many aspects. Thanks for sharing. Have a nice weekend. And, congrats on the book of poems.

Jeques said...

Thought-provoking piece. I little poem that say a lot and leave the readers think in the end. Ultimately the readers complete the poem.

I wish you well.

~ Jeques

tumblewords said...

Impressive. The use of multi-prompts and still staying on topic - a great question and probably doesn't have an answer in stone. Great!

Greyscale Territory said...

My favourite bit was the wry commnet about snuggling with a snake.

A gem!

Smiles and Light

Crafty Green Poet said...

excellent thought provoking piece. I too liked the 'snuggling with a snake'

LittleWing said...

awesome experiment...

Ian Thomas Healy said...

Clever how you mixed them all.

Happy MM!

Ian

Jamie said...

Beautifully done as always, and yes dreams either realized or thwarted can change destiny.

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

I always enjoy how you do these each week. Yes dreams can change destiny. Have a great MM. :)

AmbiguityLotus said...

Okay, let me try again since Blogger just didn't get my comment. :(

I was just saying that I really like the last line with "Experiment..." because I daydream and dream all the time. I find so many uses with dreams that I sometimes wonder if it would change destiny. Actually, in some ways, my dreams already have, and I thank you for sharing something that fits nicely in a poem.

Marilyn said...

But wouldn't destiny already have determined the dream?

Great way to combine a lot of prompts. I don't think I could have done it.

ren.kat said...

oh- the first line is gorgeous

Beloved Dreamer said...

Well my dear besides writing an interesting take on Day 5/6 (can't remember which day God created Adam an then Eve), you did a great job!. So this is how you all do it. I don't know how to keep up reading fellow writers work and write my own. Therefore, no one reads mine. But then maybe they just are not interesting.
Thanks for the treat. Well done.

-bd

paisley said...

i believe everything we do and say and dream changes destiny... we are a culmination of all of those things not a predestination of none of them....