Thursday, May 27, 2010

Slingback Noir


She kicked her sandals off
(I don't remember the name of the movie)
and slid one stockinged foot
(Do women wear those nylons any more?)
up behind her other calf
(I think it was a French film)
and it made a whispering sound
(I didn't understand what she whispered)
all along her long, long legs
(there were subtitles but I forget them)
and she beckoned to the hero
(thirteen-year-olds weren't supposed to be at the drive-in)
and said: "Come here,
I'll show you something you'll never forget."
(I've never forgotten.)

--image courtesy of Magpie Tales; also for Big Tent's aphrodisiac prompt
Collection available! Knocking from Inside

34 comments:

kathew said...

These slinky shoes are evocative-n'est ce pas?

Annie said...

Wow. Loaded. I'll have to go out and check the possibilities of drive-ins again.

Helen said...

Full of erotic possibility ~ and so nice!

Naquillity said...

wonderful writing. makes me want to visit the drive in again. hope all is well. have a great day.

Lynn Hamilton Rutherford said...

I love this ... it's like a poem within a poem and beautiful on both levels!!! You made my mind rush and my heart flutter! Beautiful!!!

Lisa said...

Woo--spicy Magpie! Very clever. Love the dual poems, and the last line is a great punch.

Tumblewords: said...

Laughing. This is a delightful and evocative poem - brings a ton of memories!

spacedlaw said...

Delightful story. It feels real too (except for a French movie at a drive-in)

vivinfrance said...

Erotically clever, but a 13-yr-old could enjoy it as I did. Pity I'm over 13. That voyage of discovery is wonderful.

Sue J said...

I love the way you've written this, with the little asides. Most enjoyable :)

Stan Ski said...

Clever combination of performer and spectator.

thelaughinghousewife said...

What a clever poem!

http://thelaughinghousewife.wordpress.com

Derrick said...

Super poem. I think stockings are still big business!

rlavalette said...

I think I'm gonna heed a smoke.

nana_ang_poppaphil said...

Very clever poem

Shirley Landis VanScoyk said...

Oui!

Marianne ~ said...

Seductive and delectable! Loved this poem about the voyage of discovery!

She Writes said...

I only wish you would have told us more. You left the audience wanting, which isn't a bad thing at all :).

Dave said...

Very well done! I like the whispering nylon, the alternating asides, the general circumspection.

susan m hinckley said...

So well done -- I love the way you structured the poem, the tension between the lines, so to speak -- I truly enjoyed it and am going to revisit. Thanks!

Jennifer Morrison said...

LOVE your story/substory structure. An evocative picture of one of those everlasting life lessons.

Yemalla said...

Made me blush!

briarcat said...

nicely told.
I enjoyed this, and I envy you drive-ins that played french film.

Deb said...

I'm a huge fan of parenthetical statements, and this is why. Such a well done poem!

Greyscale Territory said...

Beautiful, subtle eroticism brushed with the innocence of yesterday evolving into a sensual memory.

caroleesherwood said...

this is so subtle. it's that "just enough" information that makes us want more: the perfect dynamic for the prompt!

willow said...

Two super poems in one! Sizzling. Love it!!

chiccoreal said...

Dear Tiel: The layered speech; a cross between a play and a poem; very effectively captivating. Seductive. Thirteen years old? First date with a wolf?
Very creative poem!

Mary said...

Beautiful and evocative! I love the scene you set....

http://inthecornerofmyeye.blogspot.com/2010/05/yes.html

pixletwin said...

lol!

Brian Miller said...

and i dont think i would either...hot magpie! so nicely structured...

Lyn said...

Now there's I scene I won't forget! Learned a lot from "foreign" films!!

jingleyanqiu said...

a masterpiece..
cool magpie!

Stafford Ray said...

Ohmigod! Just as well it was only shoes she dropped!