tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12056722.post5068487055191795095..comments2024-02-23T02:11:35.147-08:00Comments on Knocking From Inside: RevisionsTiel Aisha Ansarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03994169558252043919noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12056722.post-19016223189428598992008-06-27T09:10:00.000-07:002008-06-27T09:10:00.000-07:00I enjoyed the originals but the revisions were won...I enjoyed the originals but the revisions were wonderfully polished and more complete. Thanks for taking part in this prompt and sorry for being so late in getting round to reading you!Crafty Green Poethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02486633917197181851noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12056722.post-31563383517808331982008-06-23T21:39:00.000-07:002008-06-23T21:39:00.000-07:00I really liked seeing these side-by-side, how some...I really liked seeing these side-by-side, how some things were tightened up, the language clearer and ringing more true to the intent of the first pieces.<BR/><BR/>I know the story of Lot well enough, that I didn't notice the absence of the word "Sodom" until I saw it in the revision.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12056722.post-72399405120642169192008-06-23T09:25:00.000-07:002008-06-23T09:25:00.000-07:00I really liked both endings to Lot's wife - but th...I really liked both endings to Lot's wife - but the revised one was more poignant.<BR/><BR/>And it's amazing how much difference the change from scarlet to gold cirrus make. Much more vivid somehow.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12056722.post-52135421816011350322008-06-23T04:48:00.000-07:002008-06-23T04:48:00.000-07:00I too wondered how you would change these poems. T...I too wondered how you would change these poems. The revisions are excellent. To end with "slow-dissolving pain" is lovely.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12056722.post-8099748893280597422008-06-23T03:50:00.000-07:002008-06-23T03:50:00.000-07:00I thought your originals were perfect and couldn't...I thought your originals were perfect and couldn't be improved upon but then I read your revisions and, wow! It didn't take much but the little changes really do make a big difference.Linda Jacobshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14459940700516084069noreply@blogger.com