Thursday, October 18, 2007

Queen of the World

Sunday Scribblings' prompt is: "My first act as Queen/ King of the World will be..."

Ask God: "Why me?"
Look for the instruction manual.
Call an emergency session of the UN.
Order someone to bring me a tall glass of fresh-squeezed tangerine juice.
Tell GlaxoSmithKline to start distributing their new malaria vaccine. Immediately. Free.
Put Peter Jackson in charge of filming The Hobbit. Give him his asking price.
Round up the military junta of Burma and deport them to Spitzbergen.
Make marijuana legal. Ban "reality" television.
Require anyone running for national office anywhere in the world to submit a 5-minute video of themselves doing comedy, singing, dancing, or anything else to entertain. If they can't make me laugh, they don't get to be in charge of a country.
Tell the Vatican to get moving and canonize Father Damien, already. Forget Junipero Serra.
Call my mother.
Institute spelling reform for English and French. Take other languages under advisement.
Reforest the Amazon.
Have Dick Cheney arrested for war crimes and profiteering.
Make it a crime to use herbicides on a violet.
Forbid the FDA from changing the definition of chocolate.
Convert Washington D.C. to solar and tidal power. Turn off Las Vegas.
Declare mandatory half-hour breaks for people on swing shifts to watch the sun set and people on graveyard to watch the sun rise.
Put the National Space Society (formerly the L5 Society) in charge of a world space program. Tell them I expect a permanent Mars colony by 2050.
Enforce the Kyoto Protocols. Any nation found to be in violation will have to trade places with the Maldives.
Issue a postage stamp with a banana slug on it.

It's a start.

13 comments:

Kiah said...

Ha!! Make marijuana legal. Ban "reality" television. I totally agree!

thefirecat said...

Oooooo, these are good too. Can I do some when *I* get to be Queen?

Oh wait. I'm going to be Emperor.

This was a great list. I think you're my new girlcrush. :)

nonizamboni said...

This why we made you Queen. My favorite: 'Declare mandatory half-hour breaks for people on swing shifts to watch the sun set and people on graveyard to watch the sun rise.'
Reign on!

Bobbe Edmonds said...

I'm with you Tiel. You're going to need a court jester, tho...

May I humbly volunteer?

Mushtaq Ali said...

You get my vote!

(but you have to promise not to wear any of those silly "Queen Elizabeth" hats).

Michael B. said...

Weed isn't legal??? HUH what...It's been legal in my house since the inception of Blackgrave law 101!....And I agree on the chocolate as well! Dick Cheney should be placed in a dunking booth of molten lava with Roger Clemens doing the throwing!

irving said...

A cute list, and serious too :)

Ya Haqq!

tumblewords said...

Oh, goody! Oh, goody! Turn off Las Vegas hit my funniest bone. I didn't know violets were being herbicided. Dang.

Patois said...

I could make you laugh. I promise. Do check out my Wordless Wednesday this past week. Think "banana slug." Love "Call my mother."

MX-Susan said...

so fare every post i have read has been by a woman, and the subjecr matter is the same...with wonderful funny twists and some very touching sentiment.
Perhaps we need a ruling group of womyn an odd number of course.
Very well done.

PaulS said...

All good things indeed. If I became king or queen that first thing I would do would be to abdicate. But then I am notoriously lazy.

ozymandiaz said...

Just speeling reform? How about grammer and syntax? Hell, lets just get rid of the whole damn confusing language...

Dan Gambiera said...

Tumblewords, I think she's serious about Las Vegas. It's kinder than my position which is "Move the Nevada Nuclear Test Site to half a mile above the Strip and do a series of multi-megaton explosions."