Monday, March 08, 2010

Horse Shadow

the grey horse grazed across a hill
in shifting cloud-shadows and dappled sunshine
hard hooves among stones and grass
the grey horse moved over granite
like slow water over gravel
the lines of its legs were song-shining ripples
the grey horse on the green hill
cast a crippled shadow in the westering sun

Beloved, I have been neglectful
but not unfaithful. The soul remembers
what the laboring flesh forgets.
Under a blossoming magnolia at dawn
I call Your name into the echoing
halls of time. Memory is crippled
by the weight of a body. It's
a horse-shadow limping out of sight.

--for Read Write Poem's "hinge" prompt.

As described in the prompt, the "hinge" would fall between the stanzas, but I think it's much more effective if it comes at the end, surprising the reader by linking what had appeared to be two unrelated ideas. But possibly the "hinge" idea is derived from the "volta" or turn in a sonnet, which is supposed to come slightly more than halfway through the poem.
Collection available! Knocking from Inside


Anonymous said...

Lovely writing! Love the line about the hooves among stones and grass.

Joyce Ellen Davis said...

Love the first 3 lines of your 2nd stanza. Love the imagery of the horses that bring it all together. Nice poem.

flaubert said...

Quite a lovely poem! I love the horse imagery here.

flaubert said...

Quite a lovely poem! I love the horse imagery here.

Tumblewords: said...

Superb! The imagery is stunning.

Raven's Wing Poetry said...

I like your horse imagery throughout the piece -- the grey horse on the green hill in the first stanza and the horse-shadow limping out of sight in the second. Your two sections connect together seamlessly, especially because of the horse imagery.