Monday, June 14, 2010

Horoscorpio

Dull Antares, more dangerous than any bright star
you are resentful and hunger for praise.
You hide in the darkest parts of the Milky Way
like a soothing syrup promising comfort for a cough
sting of opium in your tail.

-- words courtesy of Big Tent
Collection available! Knocking from Inside

13 comments:

brenda w said...

Delicious that you did so well, with so few words. This is great, Tiel. Antares, eh?

Stan Ski said...

Nice, compact piece.

thelaughinghousewife said...

Nicely done.

http://thelaughinghousewife.wordpress.com

vivinfrance said...

I like this. Economical use of the words but packing a punch nonetheless.

Mary said...

This piece makes me want to research Antares! I did enjoy your piece.

http://inthecornerofmyeye.blogspot.com/2010/06/looking-for-love.html

briarcat said...

very nice
and no traces of the wordle about it.

(hey, congrats on the PA ghazal)

Robert Lloyd said...

"more dangerous than any bright star you are resentful and hunger for praise."

I really enjoyed this line. I could see the jealousy. The poem was short sweet and well done.

Diane T said...

Short but with a nice message. I like it.

http://troublebeingstrong.blogspot.com/2010/06/call-to-hunger.html

caroleesherwood said...

ooh. i like how you created the image so powerfully in a small space. and ending with the sting!

Mr. Walker said...

I like your title. It makes the sting of your ending work so well.

Deb said...

Heartily agree with the other comments. This is a dense potion.

Just someone said...

Nice one... pretty cool

Tumblewords: said...

Yes!