Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Fisheye Noir

Swizzle sticks loom distorted
by the angle of vision
skyscrapers askew
in the city of drunkeness.

A glass, a clear glass
of only water--
no one will bring it to me.

A man could die of a hangover
trying to remember
where he put his keys
not to mention his car.

The walls are stained and sweating.
It's like being underwater,
fish in a grimy tank
in some dentist's office.

One clean glass, one fisheye lens
of unwelcome clarity
shows me last night's
dusty bottle.

--image courtesy of Magpie Tales
Collection available! Knocking from Inside

15 comments:

jabblog said...

'Never again,' says the drunkard - until the next time. Excellent!

Kay L. Davies said...

Oooh, someone with my same thought, seen from a different angle.
Nice.
-- K

Kay, Alberta, Canada
An Unfittie's Guide to Adventurous Travel

Martin H. said...

You describe the feeling, well.

Mrs.Trellis said...

The mood and feeling well evoked here.

Berowne said...

Ah, the alfluence of inkohol...

Kristen Haskell said...

Nice job with alcohol and drunkness :) Spot on!

willow said...

Oh, this made my thirsty! I particularly like "The walls are stained and sweating. It's like being underwater, fish in a grimy tank
in some dentist's office."

Helen said...

Vivid descriptions ... too much booze definitely not cool. Nicely written.

elizabeth said...

nice! i ran with the bottle myself.

Rene/ Not The Rockefellers said...

time for a little hair of the dog!...and if your dentist can't keep his tank clean, what kind of job is he doin' on your teeth? :)

faith said...

I like the tone in this. I saw the bottle at first as well.

Jingle Poetry said...

This is full of life,
love the way you make your hit on the prompt.
well done.


keep it up.

I am your follower, welcome follow us back.

Jingle Poetry said...

hope to see you at our week 11 potluck tonight.
we are open Sunday, American central time 8pm and remain open until Wednesday 8am.

any poems are welcome,
linking in early would be of most beneficial to have your work read and commented by fellow participants.

love your blog,
your talent is evidently demonstrated here.
keep sharing.
Smiles.

Jingle said...

magnificent magpie.

kavisionz said...

Phhheewww.. I am sweating reading this one!! Fantastic imagery!! And powerful words too!!
And that bit about the dentist's tank -- WOW!!! Point noted! And now, I am just doubly nervous.. :)