Thursday, June 24, 2010

Beer Bottle Amber Toothbrush Blues

Woke up this morning and fell out of bed
My eyes were hard-boiled, my head was like lead
Wish I hadn't been drinking, I'd have been better dead.

Crawled in the bathroom to clean out my mouth
Stuck my head under the cold-water spout
I felt like a peat-bog with ten years of drought.

My teeth were like skunks who'd been dead for a year
I reached for my brush and I started with fear
The handle looked just like a bottle of beer.

I staggered in shock and I muttered “Get out!”
I'm sorry I drank so much, for there's no doubt
The last thing I wanted was beer in my mouth.

I woke up this morning, my face it was bruised
Woke up this morning and felt so confused
I got the beer-bottle amber-colored toothbrush handle blues.

--image courtesy of Magpie Tales
Collection available! Knocking from Inside


Helen said...

I think we should put this to music - it's great fun!

spacedlaw said...

A convincing blues! I could hear the music.

Anonymous said...

oh what a night..descriptive magpie!

Stafford Ray said...

"My eyes were hard-boiled". "like a peat-bog with ten years of drought".
Boy oh Boy! You really know how to party, and write!

Robert Lloyd said...

"My teeth were like skunks who'd been dead for a year"

Its sad but Ive been there!!

I can see B.B. King or Stevie Rae singing this one lol.

The Crusty Crone said...

Your description is so... so... so real. So perfect.

susan m hinckley said...

Ha ha! Great fun, great magpie.

Carrie Burtt said...

Yes, this is brilliantly funny, and it would be a great blues song for sure. :-)

Gabriela Abalo said...



ninotaziz said...

I am a teetottler. So this is as close as I can get to being drunk!

Thanks for putting a smile on my face this morning.

Suz said...

Oh yeah..I heard those blues
well done

willow said...

Brilliant last line!! Thanks for the smiles.

Linda said...

I agree, it would make a good song, or a good argument for drinking responsibly. ;)

chiccoreal said...

Dear KFTI: Great lines here; and the gist of the twist o' the beer cap! HANGOVER!!!How many times have I awoken, rubbed my hard boiled eggs and felt my blood turn to lead? There's a blues song here for sure! Excellent Blues poem!

Brian Miller said...

i think its time to head back to bed and sleep it off a bit longer. ha. fun magpie!

Tumblewords: said...

Terrific fun - when it happens to someone else! I can hear it singing.

Chrissy said...

what an intoxicating magpie! :)

Catalyst said...

That's a good one. There is music in your words.

Madison said...

Hello lovely,
I just stumbled across you and fell in love with you blog! So darling. Your words, immaculate. Stop by sometime, with your hard-boiled eyes and lead head, I would love your feedback.

Afternoon Tea:

PattiKen said...

What fun! I could almost hear the melody! And there are some great lines in there. Peat bogs and dead skunks. Wow.