Beer Bottle Amber Toothbrush Blues

Woke up this morning and fell out of bed
My eyes were hard-boiled, my head was like lead
Wish I hadn't been drinking, I'd have been better dead.

Crawled in the bathroom to clean out my mouth
Stuck my head under the cold-water spout
I felt like a peat-bog with ten years of drought.

My teeth were like skunks who'd been dead for a year
I reached for my brush and I started with fear
The handle looked just like a bottle of beer.

I staggered in shock and I muttered “Get out!”
I'm sorry I drank so much, for there's no doubt
The last thing I wanted was beer in my mouth.

I woke up this morning, my face it was bruised
Woke up this morning and felt so confused
I got the beer-bottle amber-colored toothbrush handle blues.

--image courtesy of Magpie Tales
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