Who Was That Masked... Err...

Epidemic of Masked Animal Burglars Strikes Globe

Following reports of an elderly woman startled by a badger in her home in the UK and a wild giant panda being mistaken for a burglar in a Szechuan city, humans worldwide have been warned to be on the alert for animals with masklike features. "It appears these animals are under the impression that their facial coloring will keep them from being identified," said a wildlife biologist, adding that raccoons and vervet monkeys were suspected of having instigated the trend. "We think they're recruiting and training less intelligent masked animals."

Reports that divers in Hawai'i have been robbed by bandit angelfish are unconfirmed.