Digital Babe

Poor Jordan. It’s all my fault, really.

I was pasting up the image when he walked by my desk. Now you have to understand, this is an ad agency. I mean, we handle pictures of beautiful people all the time. All the time. You get kind of... I don’t know... blasé, I guess.

What I mean is, you don’t expect a reaction like that. Like he’d been hit with a hammer, I swear, right between the eyes wham! He sort of grabbed at my desk and went: “Who is she?”

And I could have told him the truth right then. But I said, “Oh, very high-level model, blah blah blah, confidential.”

“...Could I have a copy of that photo?”

Now this is strictly against the rules, right? I mean, you don’t let extra copies get spread around and then someone unauthorized is selling them and you’re looking at a big fat lawsuit. But under these circumstances. What the hey. “Well, I’m not gonna use this one, just keep it quiet, hey?”

“Oh, I will.” He handled that piece of paper like it was the Holy Grail. “Mike... she’s perfect. Perfect.”

“Sure, man.”

Next thing you know Stan’s at my desk. “What’s up with Jordan? He’s trying to get into the contact files and he’s got no business.”

I thought it was funny. What did I know? “Oh, he’s got the hots for the girl in the spread I was working on. He must be trying to get her number—ha ha! Her number, get it?”

“Mike, you big pain in the rear, what did you tell him?”

“Nothing.”

So Stan goes off to tell Jordan the truth about his dream girl and I go back to work. Then there’s this commotion over by Piggy’s desk. Piggy’s the pixel monkey, excuse me, the CGI guy.

Of course it’s Jordan. He’s down on his knees next to the computer, which is under the desk, and he’s talking to it. I can’t hear what he’s saying, on account of there’s three people between me and him—pretty much everybody in the agency has gathered around by this point, right?—but he looks serious, whatever it is.

And then he reaches down towards the computer and he grabs a hand. A woman’s hand. And he stands up and he’s helping this woman to her feet. Like she was hiding under the desk all the time. And she is a knockout, let me tell you.

Of course I recognize her. She’s the babe from my spread. The digital babe.

So I guess we’re all too stunned to do anything or say anything, I know I was. Jordan and this mystery woman, they just walk out of the place without a word to anyone and he hasn’t been back to work since.

No, that’s not quite right. He must have stopped on the way out, because everything was gone off my desk. The whole spread. Hours of work and that little guy just plain took it.

And he did say one word to the CGI guy. “Thanks, Piggy.”

--for Cafe Writing