He puts the quarters in the washer and pushes in the slide—
click click click rrrrasp rattle
He selects the temperature and cycle and presses the on-button
beep beep-beep beep
The washer fills
RUSH
and churns
glug glug glug glug glug
and drains
gurgle
and spins
WHIRRRRR...
THUMP BZZ!
the unbalance light went on.
He opens the lid
creak
and starts to rearrange the load
of fifty-seven unmatched socks and a duvet.
It just doesn't pay to be eccentric.
Collection available! Knocking from Inside
Thursday, September 03, 2009
Laundromat
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7 comments:
from Therese B. at RWP -- Delightful! Lots of onomatopoeia which you make even more expressive by varying fonts -- styles, sizes, italics, etc. Snappy ending, with double meaning of "it doesn't pay."
Clever. And it sounds right, too.
Ya Fattah!
Would love to hear this spoken with drums.
Reminds me of my recent laundromat experience. As always, you've found the right words!
http://writteninc.blogspot.com/2009/07/keeping-it-clean.html
http://writteninc.blogspot.com/2009/07/thematic-photographic-60-laundry.html
this is great with all its sounds. i haven't been to a laundromat in years but still remember how it was. have a great day.
i also like the font changes as a method of conveying the different sounds. it makes a great contribution!
"of fifty-seven unmatched socks and a duvet.
It just doesn't pay to be eccentric."
I love this conclusion. I know this guy well. See him in the mirror...
Wonderfully done.
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