Reading in the Bathtub

If you are a reader you'll know what I mean
when I say that the left hand just never gets clean
from reading in the bathtub.

So what did you think about "Strange and Norrell"?
"The story is great, tendonitis is hell
from reading in the bathtub."

My books are all crinkled and spotted throughout,
the pages look wilted, like orchids in drought
from reading in the bathtub.

Some bookstores describe a used volume as "foxed"
but mine are more "ottered", or "salmoned", or "loxed"
from reading in the bathtub.

The love scenes are passionate, tender or dreamy
but when I read through them they all just turn... steamy
from reading in the bathtub.

There's splashes of bubble-bath all over "Dune"
and my mouth tastes of soap when I "Drink Down the Moon"
from reading in the bathtub.

I think that the S-bend that's under my bath
is clogged with the same Doom that came to Sarnath
from reading in the bathtub.

If greycaps appear in my house, it's a cinch
they sprang from my waterlogged copy of "Finch"
from reading in the bathtub.

And now I've destroyed my last copy of "Shane"
it fell in the tub and dissolved down the drain!
I think that it's time that I learned to refrain
from reading in the bathtub.

Collection available! Knocking from Inside