Vampires Don't Dance

because—they say—their hearts don't beat, and so
they can't keep rhythm, can't stay in the groove.
The music starts, but they're too stiff to move.
Instead they swish their capes and make a show
of dangerousness. They flash a fang. They drool
in drops of scarlet (wearing black of course).
Embarrassment can kill them, but remorse
is not a vampire thing: it's just not cool.

Their sex appeal is limited, I fear.
Despite the loads of tawdry bloodstained bling
they tend to sport—if you can't shake that thing—
well, who'd be interested? That's why you hear
that they resort to some hypnotic trance.
Pretentious suckers! Too stuck-up to dance.

Collection available! Knocking from Inside