She kicked her sandals off
(I don't remember the name of the movie)
and slid one stockinged foot
(Do women wear those nylons any more?)
up behind her other calf
(I think it was a French film)
and it made a whispering sound
(I didn't understand what she whispered)
all along her long, long legs
(there were subtitles but I forget them)
and she beckoned to the hero
(thirteen-year-olds weren't supposed to be at the drive-in)
and said: "Come here,
I'll show you something you'll never forget."
(I've never forgotten.)
--image courtesy of Magpie Tales; also for Big Tent's aphrodisiac prompt
Collection available! Knocking from Inside
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Slingback Noir
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33 comments:
These slinky shoes are evocative-n'est ce pas?
Wow. Loaded. I'll have to go out and check the possibilities of drive-ins again.
Full of erotic possibility ~ and so nice!
wonderful writing. makes me want to visit the drive in again. hope all is well. have a great day.
I love this ... it's like a poem within a poem and beautiful on both levels!!! You made my mind rush and my heart flutter! Beautiful!!!
Woo--spicy Magpie! Very clever. Love the dual poems, and the last line is a great punch.
Laughing. This is a delightful and evocative poem - brings a ton of memories!
Delightful story. It feels real too (except for a French movie at a drive-in)
Erotically clever, but a 13-yr-old could enjoy it as I did. Pity I'm over 13. That voyage of discovery is wonderful.
I love the way you've written this, with the little asides. Most enjoyable :)
Clever combination of performer and spectator.
What a clever poem!
http://thelaughinghousewife.wordpress.com
Super poem. I think stockings are still big business!
I think I'm gonna heed a smoke.
Very clever poem
Oui!
Seductive and delectable! Loved this poem about the voyage of discovery!
I only wish you would have told us more. You left the audience wanting, which isn't a bad thing at all :).
Very well done! I like the whispering nylon, the alternating asides, the general circumspection.
So well done -- I love the way you structured the poem, the tension between the lines, so to speak -- I truly enjoyed it and am going to revisit. Thanks!
LOVE your story/substory structure. An evocative picture of one of those everlasting life lessons.
Made me blush!
nicely told.
I enjoyed this, and I envy you drive-ins that played french film.
I'm a huge fan of parenthetical statements, and this is why. Such a well done poem!
Beautiful, subtle eroticism brushed with the innocence of yesterday evolving into a sensual memory.
this is so subtle. it's that "just enough" information that makes us want more: the perfect dynamic for the prompt!
Two super poems in one! Sizzling. Love it!!
Dear Tiel: The layered speech; a cross between a play and a poem; very effectively captivating. Seductive. Thirteen years old? First date with a wolf?
Very creative poem!
Beautiful and evocative! I love the scene you set....
http://inthecornerofmyeye.blogspot.com/2010/05/yes.html
and i dont think i would either...hot magpie! so nicely structured...
Now there's I scene I won't forget! Learned a lot from "foreign" films!!
a masterpiece..
cool magpie!
Ohmigod! Just as well it was only shoes she dropped!
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