Pink

is passive-aggressive and appearance-conscious. It drinks kiwi-flavored bubble tea. It wears Chanel because it’s expensive; pink has no sense of smell. Pink listens to Top 50 so it doesn’t have to make decisions about music. It likes early mornings because that makes it OK to be perky. Pink doesn’t like to be mistaken for rose, peach, or coral. It hates all the women in my family because none of us would buy its ribbons. Pink likes to present itself as a social activist but we all suspect that’s just marketing.

Pink’s favorite month is May for the flowers—especially the dogwoods—but it’s wary of green. Pink gets sentimental about Lake Superior because of all the sunken ships and drowned men. Its favorite book is the Betty Crocker cookbook for good little girls, but it never managed to cook anything but cupcakes. Pink likes the Star Wars movies for Princess General Leia Organa. Pink watches Golden Girls reruns and wants to grow up to be a sparkly unicorn. It’s bored with sunsets and sunrises, but when there’s that streak of violet in the sky just before twilight, pink can get nostalgic. Pink falls asleep and dreams of red, yellow, black. Pink is afraid of fire.

Available! High-Voltage Lines, Knocking from Inside