2020 Accepts Responsibility

I’m the one who started it all at a meat market in Wuhan.
I’m the one who jet-setted it all over the world.
I’m the one, I walked away from an unquenched campfire
          and caused a firestorm that jumped the Cascades.
I went to Greek letters for hurricanes – a frat-houseful of disasters.
I’m the trucker who spilled a load of Styrofoam packing peanuts
          that closed the freeway for half a day.
The melting permafrost that collapsed a fuel tank
          and caused a giant oil spill in Siberia – that was me.
I’m the anti-mask protester and the anti-vaxx campaigner.
I’m the marketing genius behind bringing back McRibs.
I’m the dumpster-fire arsonist. I’m the cop body-cam mysterious malfunction.
I set off the active shooter alarm by mistake. Twice.
I’m the one who threatened to close down the polling sites. I’m the one who ripped out the drop boxes. I scheduled a press conference and never showed up.
I started the war on Christmas.

Books Available
The Day of My First Driving Lesson
Country Well-Known as an Old Nightmare's Stable
High-Voltage Lines
Knocking from Inside