Thursday, April 03, 2008

Residential Facility

The brick walls are mellow in the sun.
The avocado-colored hallways smell
of gasoline and disinfectant.

They shave his head
to a perfectly hygienic hemisphere.

He watches the last light crawl
across the acoustic-tile ceiling
through barred shadows.

avocado, hemisphere, gasoline, ceiling, brick
Poefusion: avocado, hemisphere, gasoline, ceiling, brick

Collection available! Knocking from Inside

11 comments:

Michelle Johnson said...

You brought to life everything in this scene. I love the way you can incorporate these five words into such a short space and still tell a great story.

I get these impressions while reading your poem- one, that this is a man who's in prison or two, someone going into an operation. Either way you have summoned my attention. Have a nice day.

paisley said...

very forcefully written,, i got the feeling i was there.....

Greyscale Territory said...

The image of the last light crawling is so dramatic! That one got me!

A great write!

Gemma

J.C. Montgomery said...

very powerful...the imagery it evokes is overwhelming...wow

Jane Doe said...

I love this piece. Such great imagery! I really like how you used the prompt words. Great write!

watermaid said...

This leaves me wanting to know so much more. You have incorporated the words so well and so seemlessly.

OneMoreBeliever said...

wow... it sounds all so lonely... the simplicity of our senses you describe so well....

tumblewords said...

Alive with the end process. Nice work!

Leigh Lear said...

you tell so much in so little space

Pam said...

This is an amazing piece. Such heartbreak and loss of hope in so few words.

I work for our states Protection and Advocacy group for the disabled and would love to post this on my hallway bulletin board. We fight every day for the rights of individuals who find themselves in residential facilities. I will wait for your permission before I post it.

Thank you for sharing this poem.

Tiel Aisha Ansari said...

Pam-- please feel free: I would be honored.