The brick walls are mellow in the sun.
The avocado-colored hallways smell
of gasoline and disinfectant.
They shave his head
to a perfectly hygienic hemisphere.
He watches the last light crawl
across the acoustic-tile ceiling
through barred shadows.
avocado, hemisphere, gasoline, ceiling, brick
Poefusion: avocado, hemisphere, gasoline, ceiling, brick
Collection available! Knocking from Inside
Thursday, April 03, 2008
Residential Facility
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11 comments:
You brought to life everything in this scene. I love the way you can incorporate these five words into such a short space and still tell a great story.
I get these impressions while reading your poem- one, that this is a man who's in prison or two, someone going into an operation. Either way you have summoned my attention. Have a nice day.
very forcefully written,, i got the feeling i was there.....
The image of the last light crawling is so dramatic! That one got me!
A great write!
Gemma
very powerful...the imagery it evokes is overwhelming...wow
I love this piece. Such great imagery! I really like how you used the prompt words. Great write!
This leaves me wanting to know so much more. You have incorporated the words so well and so seemlessly.
wow... it sounds all so lonely... the simplicity of our senses you describe so well....
Alive with the end process. Nice work!
you tell so much in so little space
This is an amazing piece. Such heartbreak and loss of hope in so few words.
I work for our states Protection and Advocacy group for the disabled and would love to post this on my hallway bulletin board. We fight every day for the rights of individuals who find themselves in residential facilities. I will wait for your permission before I post it.
Thank you for sharing this poem.
Pam-- please feel free: I would be honored.
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